Aloha friends and wonderful Waimea community. Sometimes, I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do.
Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on! Yes, Ha,Ha…You’ve done the same thing!
A guy goes to a movie and sits in an aisle seat where he feels he has more room. Just as the feature was about to start, a woman from the center of the row gets up and starts working her way out. “Excuse me, sorry, oops, gotta hurry, pardon me, oops! By the time she gets to the man in the aisle seat, he looks at her and in an impatient tone says: “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier? “No”, she said in a loud whisper. “The turn off your phone message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in my car!!”
Here’s a great one for the regular travelers …OK, just not now. A woman couldn’t find her luggage at the airport baggage area, so she went to the lost luggage office and told a woman there that her bags never showed up.
The worker smiled and told the woman not to worry as she was a trained professional. “Now”, she asked the woman, “has your plane arrived yet?” The woman replied, “No ma’am. The pilot told us we were circling the airport, 3rd in line to land.”
Some one-liners I know you all love!! ***Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? ** First rule of cleaning while listening to music…the toilet brush is never the microphone…never!! ***She danced like nobody was watching. But people were watching and she looked like bees were attacking her! ***The main function of the little toe is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in place. *** Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race and changes you forever….
We call these people cops!
Yep, the world is getting just too complex for some of us. They try to confuse me even at the grocery store:
Paper or plastic?? I tell them “I am the bag”. But occasionally I toss it back to them. When they ask me: “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual!”
Almost time to close, but I want to share important stuffs for those of us over 60! ***Kidnappers are not very interested in you. ***There’s nothing left to learn the hard way. ***You can eat dinner at 4pm. ***You have a party and your neighbor don’t even realize it. ***Your joints are more accurate telling you about the weather than the National Weather Service. ***You sing along with the elevator music. *** ..and the grande finale..Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either!
My dear friend from Texas sent these and they are definitely worth sharing!! ***I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe! ***I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. ***PSA: every few days try your jeans on to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.***Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.….and the grande finale…***This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….we laughed a lot.
Time to close with my very favorite…get ready….are you sure you saved enough laughter for this???
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet!!
Aloha to all my readers….Be Safe…Be Well…Laughter will help get us through this. Aloha…a hui hou
