Maybe it is the time to uninstall 2020 and reinstall it again? I think it has a bad virus. What you folks think?
My friend asked me the other day: “So, Shay, what do you get if you take the ’T’ out of Trump’s name?”
After a bit of a pause, I said “do you really want me to go there?” LOL..
Now, on the bright side of ‘lockdown’, I am no longer calling my home a ’shelter-in-place, but I am now a Artist-in-residence! I also realized that after years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking time, I have now discovered that wasn’t the reason. I kid you not, but I swear my fridge just said to me: “ just what do you want now?”
Just ask a 6 year old if he understands why there is no school. He said:”Yes! Because they are out of toilet paper. And, I and all my friends are very happy!!” But his mother, standing close by said,”OK, yes, schools are closed. So do I drop my kid off at the teacher’s house or what?”
A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?”
The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Amal”. The other goes to a family in Spain, who named him “Juan”. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: “They’re twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal!” (yes…pathetic)
Now just a few LOL’s for you folks who are dedicated ‘walkers’. ***I really like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ***I have to walk early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing. ***Walking 20 minutes can add to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month. (Ouch!) ***The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. ***Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate! ***and the grande finale….We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!
Now for something a bit personal. The other day an old friend ask me a rhetorical question: “Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up? I replied: Wow, I had a drug problem when I was young and I bet you did also! I was drug to church on Sunday morning and for family weddings. I was drug to family reunions no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.I was drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, or brought home a bad report card. I was drug outside to pull weeds in the garden and flower beds. I was drug to neighbor homes to help mow their yard or repair their clothesline, and if I took even a tip for this kindness, my dad would drug me back to give it back to them. Now…those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack or heroin, and if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, this country would be a better place. Thumbs up to the parents who drugged us!!
