Aloha folks and yes, it is a new week and I have to send you some new jokes! You may think this is an easy task, but I count it one of my most difficult cardio workouts! So let’s start with a short ‘can you identify’?
This really is a quote from a avid dog owner (me): “Stop telling me ‘he’s just a dog!’ My dog has more personality, integrity, empathy, and loyalty than most people I know. He’s FAMILY! A vet once said to me, ‘Adopt pets! Never pee alone again!’”
When a friend of mine got flowers from her husband on Valentine’s Day, she quickly opened the card only to find that all it said was “No!” She was puzzled: What did that mean? She called her husband at work and ask him. He responded that he didn’t attach any message. He said the florist asked if he had a message, and he replied “No!”
Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Canada, arrived on the Big Island in Kona. He got in an airport taxi and said to the driver: “Say, is this beautiful island really as healthy as people say? The cabby replied, “Oh yes, it sure is! I arrived here I couldn’t say one word, I had hardly any hair on my head, and not enough strength to walk! Also I had to be lifted out of bed.”
“Wow,” exclaimed the tourist, “How long have you been here?” The cab driver replied, “Oh, I was born here!”
Found an article just too funny not to share some of it! Here are some of the craziest U.S. laws still in effect today!
— It’s illegal to drive blindfolded in Alabama!
— It’s illegal for a donkey to sleep in a bath tub in Arizona!
— It’s a crime to keep a couch on your porch in Colorado! two more??
— Dirty tires are illegal in Minnesota! …and best of all…
— It’s illegal to place a coin in your ear in Hawaii! Yep…that’s home!
A wife texts her husband on a cold winter morning. “Windows frozen, won’t open!” Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with a hammer.” Wife texts back 10 minutes later: “Computer really messed up now!”
Same wife…one more!
Wife to husband: I have a bag full of used clothes I want to donate. Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash, that’s easier. Wife: But there are poor, starving people who could use them. Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothes is not starving! (Husband to be released from hospital in a couple of days!)
About time to close…
Did you know? Although GEICO has that funny gecko as its mascot, he has nothing to do with the company name. GEICO stands for “Government Employee’s Insurance Company!” Now you plenty smart!
So, have a great week — laugh a lot even if it’s almost funny, especially if it’s a joke from your boss! Be Well, Do Good Deeds, Aloha a hui hou.
